Well This Weekend has been eventful

Let me just preface my story with this: My family has a history of bad backs. My Dad, two of my brothers, my sister and I have all had issues with our backs at one time or another. Katie even had to have surgery to fix her herniated disc. Mark is the only lucky SOB who managed to escape our tragic fate.

I thought I was safe until about two years ago. That was when I had my first episode. I would be down for three or four days in utter misery, but then I would be back on my feet and feel like nothing had happened. Since that first time, every 6 to 8 months I would have another blow out. Same as before.

This Friday, I got out of my taxi after school, and I noticed that my back felt a little funny. Sometimes I can nip it in the bud by icing and resting, so thats what I did. I got an ice pack and watched a show in bed. Feeling better, I got up to put the ice pack back in the freezer, and when I went back to sit down on my bed, mid-way there I froze. I knew right then, at that second, that I was in trouble. Its so hard to explain, but the pain that was radiating from my lower back was so intense that I couldn't stop myself from screaming out. Its hot. Its vibrating. Its like all your muscles are contracting at the same time but they are burning. All you can think about is the pain and how you have to figure out how to get down to the bed and lay down, but every movement you make, every fraction of an inch is agony. You force your body to get down, using your arms and legs to make any adjustments you can, because your back is out of the question. You wait for the waves of pain to get less intense...the ripples smaller. You don't realize how much you use your back until you can't use it anymore. If you want to slide one inch over in the bed, you have to lift your hips in order to do so. So you can't. You just lie there. Crying. I took one anti-inflammitory, and one muscle relaxer - nothing. I decided to sleep it out. Usually, the next day is better after icing, rest, and meds.

So I had a restless 8 hours. I had two pillows under my knees, but i still woke up every two hours to a throbbing pain. When I woke up I tried to get to the bathroom, but I realized that I couldn't stand up. I slid my right leg over the bed, then the left, and slid my body down to the floor, using my bed as a stabilizer. I then crawled to the bathroom, once there, I used the doorknob to try to pull myself up, but realized that once I was halfway standing that I couldn't move my hips over to sit. I was in the same position as when I tried to sit down on the bed. I crumpled to the floor - as quickly as one can when their body is rejecting the movement. Thats how my roommate found me five seconds later. Crying on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor. I crawled back to my room and called one of my co-workers, Sarah. She came over quickly and she and her sister (who is a nurse) got me out into the car and drove me to the hospital.

They put me in the emergency room. Immediately they gave me a shot of something into my hip. I am assuming it was cortizone, but really, I don't know. They put an iv in my forearm and some doctor came over and started lifting my legs up in the air to check range of motion. 20 degrees. Thats how far my legs could go up without me crying out. They gave me xrays. The doctor told me there was nothing wrong with my bones. Then they took me in for a CT scan. They found it. A bulging disc in between my A and B lumbar. Sweet. The doctor came back to me and told me that a bulging disc is just painful. Understatement of the century. Its the herniated discs that need surgery. From what I read, most bulging discs heal on their own, however people with family histories of bad backs tend to have a chronic tendancy towards getting them. My back would be fine. I just need to start taking my genetically weak dispositioned back seriously. I need to start a back strengthening routine that I stick to. If I don't, this WILL happen again - heck, even if I do, this could happen again, but I need to be proactive.

As for the marathon. I so very much appreciate everyone's concern and prayers during this scary time. I want you to know that I am not taking this episode lightly. I understand how serious back injuries are, and believe me, I don't want another relapse. That being said. If I can run this marathon, I will. I worked so very hard for 18 weeks, and I still have seven days to heal up.

I realize now that what I said on facebook about needing surgery if my disc ruptured may have given people the wrong idea. If I had been lifting something heavy, or if I had been in an accident, my disc could have ruptured, but the bulge has gone back in place now. When your back spasms, your body is forcing your muscles to go rigid in order to prevent further damage, but what this does is freeze your back so that your disc can not move back into the proper position. The shot and the medicine that the hospital gave me, along with the past two days of bedrest has allowed my disc to move back into the correct position. The pain that I feel now, is the pain of muscles that have been very tight and have been essentially shocked with electricity; not the pain of a disc that is still out of place. Every other time that this happened to me, I was down for a few days - I will give myself that.

When I explained this to Sarah and another co-worker Daniel, they looked at me like I was crazy. Not just for trying to run the marathon, but for going back to running altogether. They think that running was a part of the problem. Thats not it. I mean, think about it - These past two weeks of my taper have been the easiest ones during my entire training - if it was running that was the problem, this back problem would have happened when I was running 45-50 miles a week, not 25. Everything I have ever researched on bulging disc's says that they are caused by accidents, heavy lifting, or a violent cough or sneeze. No heavy lifting or accident for me, but guess who has had a terrible cough for the past few days? Moi. Now listen, I am not going to be crazy and run if I feel even the slightest bit of weakness or problems. I swear. But I am not, I am NOT going to give up before I have even tried. My marathon packet with number and race shirt arrived in the mail today, and I would never forgive myself if I didn't try.

It's not just a weak back that I inherited from my family - I also got stubbornness, and the drive to overcome whatever obstacles stand in my way.