Well This Weekend has been eventful

Let me just preface my story with this: My family has a history of bad backs. My Dad, two of my brothers, my sister and I have all had issues with our backs at one time or another. Katie even had to have surgery to fix her herniated disc. Mark is the only lucky SOB who managed to escape our tragic fate.

I thought I was safe until about two years ago. That was when I had my first episode. I would be down for three or four days in utter misery, but then I would be back on my feet and feel like nothing had happened. Since that first time, every 6 to 8 months I would have another blow out. Same as before.

This Friday, I got out of my taxi after school, and I noticed that my back felt a little funny. Sometimes I can nip it in the bud by icing and resting, so thats what I did. I got an ice pack and watched a show in bed. Feeling better, I got up to put the ice pack back in the freezer, and when I went back to sit down on my bed, mid-way there I froze. I knew right then, at that second, that I was in trouble. Its so hard to explain, but the pain that was radiating from my lower back was so intense that I couldn't stop myself from screaming out. Its hot. Its vibrating. Its like all your muscles are contracting at the same time but they are burning. All you can think about is the pain and how you have to figure out how to get down to the bed and lay down, but every movement you make, every fraction of an inch is agony. You force your body to get down, using your arms and legs to make any adjustments you can, because your back is out of the question. You wait for the waves of pain to get less intense...the ripples smaller. You don't realize how much you use your back until you can't use it anymore. If you want to slide one inch over in the bed, you have to lift your hips in order to do so. So you can't. You just lie there. Crying. I took one anti-inflammitory, and one muscle relaxer - nothing. I decided to sleep it out. Usually, the next day is better after icing, rest, and meds.

So I had a restless 8 hours. I had two pillows under my knees, but i still woke up every two hours to a throbbing pain. When I woke up I tried to get to the bathroom, but I realized that I couldn't stand up. I slid my right leg over the bed, then the left, and slid my body down to the floor, using my bed as a stabilizer. I then crawled to the bathroom, once there, I used the doorknob to try to pull myself up, but realized that once I was halfway standing that I couldn't move my hips over to sit. I was in the same position as when I tried to sit down on the bed. I crumpled to the floor - as quickly as one can when their body is rejecting the movement. Thats how my roommate found me five seconds later. Crying on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor. I crawled back to my room and called one of my co-workers, Sarah. She came over quickly and she and her sister (who is a nurse) got me out into the car and drove me to the hospital.

They put me in the emergency room. Immediately they gave me a shot of something into my hip. I am assuming it was cortizone, but really, I don't know. They put an iv in my forearm and some doctor came over and started lifting my legs up in the air to check range of motion. 20 degrees. Thats how far my legs could go up without me crying out. They gave me xrays. The doctor told me there was nothing wrong with my bones. Then they took me in for a CT scan. They found it. A bulging disc in between my A and B lumbar. Sweet. The doctor came back to me and told me that a bulging disc is just painful. Understatement of the century. Its the herniated discs that need surgery. From what I read, most bulging discs heal on their own, however people with family histories of bad backs tend to have a chronic tendancy towards getting them. My back would be fine. I just need to start taking my genetically weak dispositioned back seriously. I need to start a back strengthening routine that I stick to. If I don't, this WILL happen again - heck, even if I do, this could happen again, but I need to be proactive.

As for the marathon. I so very much appreciate everyone's concern and prayers during this scary time. I want you to know that I am not taking this episode lightly. I understand how serious back injuries are, and believe me, I don't want another relapse. That being said. If I can run this marathon, I will. I worked so very hard for 18 weeks, and I still have seven days to heal up.

I realize now that what I said on facebook about needing surgery if my disc ruptured may have given people the wrong idea. If I had been lifting something heavy, or if I had been in an accident, my disc could have ruptured, but the bulge has gone back in place now. When your back spasms, your body is forcing your muscles to go rigid in order to prevent further damage, but what this does is freeze your back so that your disc can not move back into the proper position. The shot and the medicine that the hospital gave me, along with the past two days of bedrest has allowed my disc to move back into the correct position. The pain that I feel now, is the pain of muscles that have been very tight and have been essentially shocked with electricity; not the pain of a disc that is still out of place. Every other time that this happened to me, I was down for a few days - I will give myself that.

When I explained this to Sarah and another co-worker Daniel, they looked at me like I was crazy. Not just for trying to run the marathon, but for going back to running altogether. They think that running was a part of the problem. Thats not it. I mean, think about it - These past two weeks of my taper have been the easiest ones during my entire training - if it was running that was the problem, this back problem would have happened when I was running 45-50 miles a week, not 25. Everything I have ever researched on bulging disc's says that they are caused by accidents, heavy lifting, or a violent cough or sneeze. No heavy lifting or accident for me, but guess who has had a terrible cough for the past few days? Moi. Now listen, I am not going to be crazy and run if I feel even the slightest bit of weakness or problems. I swear. But I am not, I am NOT going to give up before I have even tried. My marathon packet with number and race shirt arrived in the mail today, and I would never forgive myself if I didn't try.

It's not just a weak back that I inherited from my family - I also got stubbornness, and the drive to overcome whatever obstacles stand in my way.

Inconceivable!

I have to say - for missing Kansas so much, and wishing that I could be there for all the blizzards, I am sort of thrilled about Korea's weather recently.

Today's high was 57 degrees. Fifty-Seven. Five-Seven. I was able to walk to my bus stop with no coat or hat. This made me feel a little self conscience because my hair was down and the color stands out a bit more with no covering. Guuurl, heads were a-turnin.

Normally when I get home from work, I take a short nap before I go out for my run. It has become such a big part of my routine that the thought of skipping it to get done with my run earlier makes me cringe. I NEED my nap. Not today. I couldn't wait to get out the door. I knew that if I napped, the temp would drop and I wanted it as warm as possible. Guess who ran in her 3/4 length tights? And only two shirts? It was disgustingly refreshing. On the trail I ran into my roommate's best friend, an American named Chase. Two non-asians on the trail at once? We did a run-by high five. I know that I have S.A.D. but I couldn't tell how much it was affecting me until I got a day like this.

This week is my last week of intensive training. No Joke. I ran five miles today, eight tomorrow, five on Thursday, rest day on Friday, Eight at race pace on Saturday, and my final long run is 20 miles on Sunday. After Sunday, it is all downhill; I start to taper off until my race. March 21st, here I come.

Tomorrow the high is supposed to be 61. Jealoussssss?

This post is dedicated to my mother. and aunts. and anyone else who has been after me to update.

Alright friends,

So I have been meaning to update this for a very long time, but I think the problem is that there is just too much that I want to talk about. I never want to sit down for a few hours to pound it all out.

This is going to be a conglomeration post.

I haven't been in the best place emotionally for the past few weeks. I have been feeling stuck. I can't come home yet, but I want to. I haven't been crying about it; its not an urgent "get the hell out of here" feeling, but its an ache. I can admit something to myself now. I am not the jet-setting citizen of the world that I always thought that I was, or at least, could be. I am a homebody. I am disgustingly connected with my family and while I still want to travel the world and live in other places. I think I will keep the travel under a few months and the living in the United States. This way, I can at least fly to see my family for under a thousand dollars and 20 hours of travel time. This realization was a hard pill to swallow, but I think I am better for it.

Lets talk about the Korean people for a few.

Based on Confucian ideals, the family unit is tight. Super tight. Most couples only have two children and the oldest male is expected to care for the the parents when they get older. I have heard from Sarah that Korean women try to shy away from oldest boys because the women know that if they marry them, they will have a lot of responsibility when they get older, but it all ends up being a really good deal for everyone. The grandparents end up taking care of the children a lot. Most of my students have told me that their grandparents watch them after school or walk them to and from school every morning - which, I know that I would have loved.

It is just such an interesting culture. The country was essentially third world until the late 1960's early 1970's - meaning that people over the age of 45 have to remember a time when they they or someone that they knew didn't have running water. Can you even imagine? So now, at least in the city or in the suburbs of Seoul where I live, its almost like the people are playing a giant game of "catch-up." Image and money are super important here. Obviously, this is a generalization - but there is a very good reason for it. You will never see a Korean woman walk out in public in pajama pants - the equivalent of slumming it in Korea is to wear a work-out outfit and a ballcap. But you better believe that those ballcaps and yoga pants are name brand; usually the logo is nice and prominent. Its a little tough to keep up with them! I feel pretty self conscious when a willowy, heeled, and impeccably dressed young woman is standing next to me on the bus.

The children. are. adorable. I mean, all children are cute, but these kids take the cake, and their parents have a LOT to do with it. As I said, appearances are very important, so many of the moms make sure that their kids are impeccably dressed. My students show up to class wearing Burberry. There is no such thing as holes in socks or patched knees. Their pea coats probably cost more than all the clothes I brought here put together. They wear cute little fur vests, jeweled headbands, the boys wear sweaters over turtlenecks. Sometimes I squeal when I get to work - I feel like a grandmother who just wants to squeeze their round little cheeks. The other day, one of the Korean teachers at school was playing with Dorothy's curls. Dorothy is an adorable little six year old with a very soft little curl in her hair. The teacher looked at me and proudly said that Dorothy was the only Korean girl that she had met with curly hair. I looked at her like she was crazy - 3 of my kids had curly hair, what was she talking about? 'Oh,' she qualified, ' I mean naturally curly hair.' I did one of those cartoon double takes. Almost any Korean child that you see with curly hair has gotten a perm. They are babies...not to mention the fact that they are adorable enough without the curls.

The middle school girls all look the same. This is not me being caucasion in asia, this is sheer honest to goodness shock. They have frighteningly similar school uniforms (plaid skirts, dark blazer, black tights) and they ALL have the EXACT same haircut: A Shoulder length bob that is curled under and a tightly curled set of blunt cut bangs. Its kind of cute - the girls will wear their bangs in little rollers outside to keep them perfect.

I was in Seoul this weekend buying books. . . . I have missed reading so bad! I don't know why I didn't bring a freaking book with me. So anywho, I went to one of the few bookstores with an actual English section and spent a fortune on books. Totally worth it. It was also really great because while I was in the train station they had the Olympics on. I haven't been able to watch ONE minute of the Olympics here in Korea. I tried to stream it online, but all of the English websites blocked me due to my IP address being from Korea and their distribution rights being limited to their respective countries. I am not computer literate and could not figure out how to hide my IP address like some of my friends suggested, so I was living vicariously through all of my friend's facebook updates and such. While in the station I got to watch the Korean's win the Gold and Silver in speed skating....I was halfway rooting for Apollo Whats-his-name, but I couldn't deny that the Korean's enthusiasm was infectious. HUGE crowds around the TV and in-sync gasps? Awesome. Keep your ears and eyes peeled for Kim Yu Na. She is Korea's hope for the Gold in figure skating. It's impossible to not know who she is here. She was Korea's Forbes Magazine and Times Magazine's person of the year several times running and is spokesperson for like every cosmetic known. I wish I could watch it.

I have more to say, but I think I will take a shower and go to bed instead. Night!

Pictures for Kristen to show her students:

Kristen and I are exchanging pen pal letters between our kids. She can't really access Facebook at school to show all of her kids the pictures of MY kids, soooo I will put them on here for her class to look at....In order from top to bottom : Chris, Mike, Amanda, Charlie, Polly, Noah, Candy and Susie.... By korean standards - mike and noah are little girl magnets.

Being Sick in Korea

Well, as I begin this post it is 8:03 on Sunday night. Due to the fact that I have spent the entirety of the weekend in my bed tossing and turning, sniffling, and groaning, this post is going to be my one attempt at doing something even remotely close to being labeled productive.

On Friday I was feeling off...Not sick, but I could feel the start of some illness. I figured I could sleep in on Saturday and knock it out quickly. I woke up on Saturday feeling like a truck hit me. I was incredibly miserable. Headache, stuffed up, cough, sore throat, etc. Gross. I slept the day away and hoped for the best. The night before I had soaked a pot full of black beans. I have been wanting to try out a few new recipes so I figured I could cook the beans while I knocked out my fifteenth or so episode of House. I put the pot on to boil and I went back to my room. How many times have I left a pot of soup on the stove for simmer for an hour? A freaking ton - So I knew everything would be fine. I played some solitaire, I watched a show, and then I got up to check on my beans. I opened my door to a wall of smoke. No Kidding. Floor to ceiling thick smoke. I ran to the stove, turned off the gas, sprinted to the balcony, threw open all of the windows, and tried to vent the apartment. Apparently, the beans had boiled down while I was in my room and due to the door being closed, I had not noticed AT ALL. When I opened the front door of my apartment to get a cross breeze, a ton of the rancid smelling smoke (the handle on the top of the pot had started to melt as well) billowed into the hallway. Of course, Several Korean people ran out looking worried and speaking to me in rapid Korean - I am sure they were asking what was wrong. I just kept repeating 'Ken cha nigh oh' (its okay!) and 'bee ah ney yo' (I'm sorry!) ...finally, when I showed them what was in the pot, they sort of smirked and left me alone. I think they made an announcement: "Don't worry everyone! Its just the stupid American who can't work a stove!" Awesome. So now, I had no beans, my apartment smelled to high heaven, the smoke had aggravated my already irritated throat, and I had every window and door open so that the balmy 20 degree Korean Air could drop my body temperature.

I ran to the little supermarket downstairs and bought some air freshener. I unloaded enough air freshener into our apartment to create a hole in the ozone layer and lit some candles. My apartment smells much better today, but it still reeeeeeks. My roommate freaked out about the smell...I guess I understand, but with my sickness I am sort of annoyed by it. I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I burned some beans. The apartment will smell for a few days. Deal.

I woke up today feeling worse than before. Super. I had planned on getting so much done this weekend. Now I am feeling like a worthless blob as I am currently on my 17th episode of House and this post qualifies as the most I have done this weekend.

To feel a little positive, I think I will write a small list of firsts in Korea:

The first time I cried in Korea was the second the door closed to my apartment and I was all alone.

The first food I ate in Korea was the Fried chicken at the little chicken restaurant across from my apartment building. My roommate and one of his friends took me out on my third day in Korea. He had been in Seoul for the whole weekend and because of how scared I was to leave the apartment and get lost or something, all I had eaten during that time was granola bars.

The first time I laughed in Korea was at the very same Chicken place when I saw that they had fried up EVERY part of the chicken. It was not just thighs, breasts, and legs anymore. I know I recognized a neck and there were plenty of other Unidentified Objects

The first shower that I took was freezing cold. My roommate was in Seoul and I didn't have any idea that in Korea, apparently you have to turn ON your hot water every time you want to use it.

The first time I felt like I was settling in in Korea was when I went running for the first time. I ran three miles out into the country and on my way back in, I got to see my very first Korean sunset. Two-fer-one!

The very first thing that I bought in Korea was a box of green tea. It tasted disgusting. Turns out that it was half green tea, half burned rice tea. Koreans love burned or "brown" rice tea...they also like to mix it with green tea a lot. I learned to check the box labels for "100%" REAL fast.

My first time I laughed at a Supermarket was when I saw a two liter glass jug of Carlos DeRosse cabernet savignon for 15,000 won (about 14 bucks). Because, obviously, the exact same wine that we can buy a gallon of for 6 dollars would be considered classy wine here.

On my first day at work, not fifteen minutes after arriving, one of the kids there performed "ddong chim" on me. Look it up. I won't explain. Fortunatly for me, I had been warned about this particular trick and it has not happened since, but what an interesting first day.

I am saddened and dismayed

........to tell you that I have lost my source for chocolate covered sunflower seeds. I walked into the small grocery store near my school's bus stop and went to stock up on my favorite - absolutely delicious, highly addictive, and somewhat good for me - sunflower seeds. Curses upon my terrible luck. A few weeks ago I was in and I saw a whole bunch of things being moved around the store...I bought two containers of my chocolate seeds just in case I wouldn't be able to get to them for a while. I walked in today and thought that I had walked into the wrong darn place. The little market used to be claustrophobic and severely dated; now it almost looked like an American supermarket with clearly labeled aisles, a deli section (with kimchi and highly salted seaweed), and enough room to fit a whole cart down each aisle! Some things were pretty cool - I mean they actually have a lot more produce and specialty items ( I found pine nuts for a ridiculous price....and purchased them anyway ) but what thing did they not have? My GD chocolate covered sunflower seeds. I went down every aisle. EVERY AISLE.

I could punch someone.

I don't have a clever title for this one.

Well, I always knew that I was an old soul, but now it is official. I am an old lady. I know this because my hair is falling out. I can't tell you exactly if it is stress, Pyeongtaek water, or advancing age, but holy moly...I have to clean out dead rats from my drain after each shower. Graphic enough for you? I find it pretty gross too. With long hair, strays are unavoidable, (my students are always finding hairs on my shoulder....they seem to enjoy it - I think they just want a closer look at what they call "yellow" hair) but things have really gotten out of control. I am trying my darnedest to stem the flow by deep conditioning every three days. I'll keep you updated - but don't be surprised if I come home bald.

Kiana quit. My director? She quit. This is the second time in two months, only this time we are all pretty sure that she won't be coming back. She was displeased with the owner of the school for a while, and vice versa, so...I think she is done here. She left three days ago for the States. To add insult to injury, she's going to be in Overland Park visiting a friend. Jealoussssssssssssss.... This throws a lot of things into question - Who will be our new director? Will he/she change everything right when we have just gotten used to things? Will he/she stick up for us to the somewhat obsessive Korean mothers? What is the next semester's schedule going to be like?

Needless to say, I have been having a lot of stress headaches. I have been running to deal.

So the Seoul Marathon is 8 weeks, and while I am sorry that I have been talking about it non-stop and that it has been dominating all of my status updates, I am probably not going to be able to stop. Training keeps my mind busy and gives me a goal to keep me here. I get to eat as much food as I want, I have rock hard thighs, and did I mention that I get to eat as much as food as I want?

I am SO over the cold weather though. For two days last week I was fortunate to run in 40 degree weather. I was actually able to run without my face mask, two pairs of tights, or five shirts. It was pretty amazing, but now the temp is back down and I have to drag my butt back into below freezing weather. Yuck.

I have a ton of new pictures to post. I haven't done it yet because really, it takes for.ev.er. to upload and caption them all. I intend upon putting them up tonight, but we shall see. Mainly, the pictures are of the kids - I have to tell you guys, these kids are one of the best things about being here. They are positive, energetic, and man do they love American candy. They can get me to share any day. I have a pretty brilliant idea for my kids too! My kids are 7 and 8 ( think 6 and 7 by American count). I talked with my best friend Kristen who is a Kindergarten teacher in Lawrence. We are going to have our kids become Pen Pals! Those letters are freaking adorable. I will have to post some of them soon.

Alright, I had better go. I want to go to Seoul tomorrow to buy some more cheese. Isn't that a little sad? I am willing to travel over an hour for some real dairy.

I love you all. I miss you all.